Dear All,

Anyone else become a smoker over the years?  What is an average day like for those who owe OSAP money?  Lets see. 

6:45 am.  Wake up to the sound of the alarm.  Light a smoke.  Smoke that cigarette like it was the end of the dragons tail and get a body buzz.  Look at my fridge and wonder how I survive on so little food.  Race to grab some quick food.  Pack a lunch consists of two cheese sandwiches.  Realize Im living good this week,  I had enough money for 'decent groceries.' Boil water for tea.  Shower.  Decide on having another smoke.  Dress and off to the bus.  Off to work I go.  Have another smoke waiting for the bus.

By now, within less than an hour the paranoia kicks in.  I look for collection representatives to follow me on the bus and ask why I havent made payments.  I work fulltime in a warehouse and I havent even gotten to work yet, and I am getting the shakes and anxiety attacks because I fear they will call me at work again. 

Before entering the doors (I work in a warehouse in a retail store because I couldnt afford to finish my degree), I have panic attacks that they will call my cell phone all day or my boss or my manager and harass them.  The harassment doesnt just end at calling my cell phone all day and leaving messages, or filling my mail box daily with letters threatening me.  The harassment doesnt end with my email being filled daily with letters from various collection agencies and various representatives in the same agencies contacting me.

After an hour of work, I need another cigarette.  I feel like I am a caged animal.  I am stuck in a job that I am extremely over qualifited for.  I am going in the midst of filing for bankruptcy.  I hated Osap even before I applied for it.  Little did I know just how collection agencies operate.  But I did learn that education is a priviledge and not a right in Canada.  Canada uses these agencies to represent them and these agencies drive honest people into depressions and Im even sure suicidal behaviour.

I have trouble getting through a normal work day, for 10 dollars an hour.  My 40 hour week feels like 400 hours, even though I dont mind the work and I like the people.  They have contacted me at work twice and I told them twice that it is harassment and that they should never call me there again.  I am just trying to pay my bills to get by, so I can eventually get another job. 

I used to feel proud that I live in Canada.  But I question this now.  After reading this forum, I feel even more lost.  I still wonder when those agencies will begin to garnish my wages.  I am lost really.  I am doing all this on my own.  If they garnish my wages, even at 10%, I will be taking a cardboard tv box from where I work and sleeping on the street from it.  I am a former english student and I plan to live my double secret live here.  And a word of beware to pig like collectors, I have more tricks up my sleeve than you ever could. 

What a sad, sad story, torontoboy.  No matter how awful the student loan system has become (with banks running the show unsupervised), the situation should not drive people to poison their bodies with cigarettes.

And yes, it's a sad story -- and it's my story, too.  I'm 34 years old, ready to enter another year as a smoker, a habit I picked up after my life and career goals turned to ash.

Non-smokers, please don't try to solve our problems with quick-fix advice.  Trust me, we smokers are truly happy for you, and we envy your smoke-free lifestyle.  At the same time, you might not know what brought us to this point.

"Stress"?  "Frustration"?  "Anxiety"??  Those are all good guesses for the possible reason that I became addicted to this nasty habit.  However, I can assure you that the direct cause is not external.  I will never claim that "the bank made me start smoking," or "the government," or my mommy, or anybody else.

I started smoking when the ugly feelings took hold.  After the destruction of my finances (while still a student), I lost all hope of finishing my Ph.D.  My life's plans disappeared just like a confirmation-of-enrolment form in the care of CIBC.  =POOF!=

In my life, smoking didn't start as a reaction to stress, frustration, or anxiety.  Instead, it was plain-and-simple hopelessness that drew me to the cigarettes.  Lately, I have been trying to create a new plan for the next course of my life.  As I do so, I feel like quitting smoking is a possibility -- a very desirable possibility!

In the meantime, I must still "get over it," as they say.  Somehow, I must get past the fact that a greedy, callous policy manual at CIBC empowers their employees to destroy students' lives without guilt or remorse.  In fact, their policies prevent employees from doing the right thing or the fair thing, even after the damages have become obvious.

I guess I just have to get over it...  And the cigs aren't exactly helping the process along! 

--Sean

Not a smoker yet....but I'm sure there is a bottle somewhere with my name on it...I understand how everyone is feeling the anxiety is killing me, it's nice to know that i'm not the only one going through this.

Damn, thats exactly what I am feeling after reading the whole story. I smoke and everything. Are we brothers by any chance???

I don;t know about you but i also feel like i will never be happy again even if i  imagine that I have no debt. I guess this incident of life has hit me a bit to hard.

Eaters of ignorant people? lol...Wouldn't that be a SOLUTION??

Probably full of trans fat though...

Poly
(ex-smoker, 2 1/2 years & counting!)

I have quit it all...No smoking, coffee or eating out. All with the idea of saving money and getting through the crunch.

I talked with my Dad the other day and explained that I am now caffeine free...He said,"Oh so no more bad habits eh?"

I told him "No it is going on eight weeks since I splurged on a Timmy's, the only bad habit I have left is chewing my fingernails, and I only do that because I haven't figured out yet, how quiting will help me financially!

It really is getting pathetic when your father has to tell you to lighten up and live a little.

I know what you mean..my mother had to re-assure me that the student loan police were not going to knock at my door at 2:00 in the morning.

I am presently preparing for my spouses' Rev Can audit...I guess it wasn't enough for me to have had to barely survived through those years...Why don't we just rehash them and see if I can't come up with more money to owe!!

It never ends!!!!

Follow up:

I just wanted to let you know my Audit is over and nowhere near as painful as I thought it would be!!

Phew...you live all of these horrible experiences and you start to expect them all to end the same way...

CCRA can actually be very nice...Now who would have thought that?