Comic Relief - It;s always good to Laugh!
Printed From: CanadaStudentDebt.ca
Category: Other Topics
Forum Name: Stress & Mental Health Dealing with Student Loans
Forum Description: A place to help dealing with the stress of this crap!
URL: https://www.canadastudentdebt.ca/forum_posts.asp?TID=2918
Printed Date: 27/March/2026 at 12:33am
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.07 - https://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Comic Relief - It;s always good to Laugh!
Posted By: Casey
Subject: Comic Relief - It;s always good to Laugh!
Date Posted: 15/August/2005 at 4:52pm
|
I find that something like this, though not the cure, does give a short relief from the problems and worries.. We all need to have a laugh from time to time. This was supposed to have been printed in the New York Times but no mention of date was in the email that it came to me. Wouldn't it be nice to give some of this back CSL, the banks and collectors..  Have good for a laugh.. ------------------- "Dear Sir: I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, three 'nanoseconds' must have elapsed between his presenting the check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it. I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire salary, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only eight years. You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account $30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank. My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways. I noticed that whereas I personally attend to your telephone calls and letters, when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become. From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person. My mortgage and loan payments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank by check, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate. Be aware that it is an offense under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope. Please find attached an Application Contact Status which I require your chosen employee to complete. I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative. Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Notary Public, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof. In due course, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me. I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modeled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service. As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Let me level the playing field even further. When you call me, press buttons as follows: 1-- To make an appointment to see me. 2-- To query a missing payment. 3-- To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there. 4-- To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping. 5-- To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature. 6-- To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home. 7-- To leave a message on my computer. (A password to access my computer is required. A password will be communicated to you at a later date to the Authorized Contact.) 8-- To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 7. 9-- To make a general complaint or inquiry, the contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service. While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call. Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement. May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous New Year. Your Humble Client ------------------- Casey . . . |
Replies:
Posted By: polyhymnia61
Date Posted: 16/August/2005 at 2:44am
|
Awesome, Casey!! And good to hear from you...hope things are going okay... Poly ------------- Home is where you are allowed to prosper. |
Posted By: Casey
Date Posted: 16/August/2005 at 9:40pm
|
Hi Poly, I hope you are doing well! I'm doing good, considering I still the darn SL hanging over me and still on SA.. My son finally graduated from high school in June, he's taking a bit longer than others but not bad for being developmentally delayed.. The current project is getting him working.. This is a tough one as he still hasn't grasped the reality that staying at home is not option.. Financially it's killing me.. SA has cut our funding to the point that we are just scraping by.. It's really been tough since the end of June.. Someone asked the other day what we were doing for summer holidays.. Ya right.. Well we did treat ourselves.. went to Burger King.. they had wooper jr. and fries on for $2.. On the brighter side, I do have my physical health. Also, mentally, I'm feeling a lot better.. Partly because, as I get older, I don't care as much about what other people think.. I know that I'm doing the best I can despite the problems and road blocks.. I'm trying to get back to work. It's not easy at my age but despite not hearing back from my first job application I'm not giving up.. I'm more ready to work than I have been in a long time! It sure would be nice to have some $$.. Even minimum wage would be a lot better than the little we are getting from SA now.. Sure would be nice not having to get groceries for the bargain/reject bins.. Ya, I know it will likely send the CA on a feeding frenzy but I'm not going to let them bother me.. I thinking that if I had some money maybe I could get get Johnny or some one to help me with the SL thing.. I'd sure like to get rid of the whole mess and have a bit of a normal life for my remaining years! I've paid far more in stress, mental health, loss of freedom and liberty etc. than anyone should ever be expected to.. Oh well onward and forward.. Less than 4 years to go before I can collect my Canada Pension!.. Gee, it's hard to believe I'm getting that old! All we can do ins hang in and keep on trucking.. One day at a time etc.. We are the survivors!Casey . . . |