Hello everyone

I went into debt by the age of 19 for the past year and a half i have been harassed by creditors. I had three credit cards that by that time i had cleaned out. Now my debt is about 4000 dollars. I have made a few payments here and there i go to university and i work about 15 hours a week. NOT ENOUGH TO PAY FOR LUNCH LET ALONE A DEBT! now i am not sure if i should pay back this debt because for one it has been passed on to an agency which i assume means the bank sold my account to this agency. Aswell i can not afford to pay it back and i already have bad credit! What will i gain out of paying back this debt! Do I have to PAY IT BACK?

Ah. Here we go again.

You're twenty years old and you owe on a number of credit cards. You can't afford to go to University. It's as simple as that. If you want to go to university, here's what you ought to do:

Work full time for a year and pay off your debts. Then re-enroll at a school that will give you training or education in something that can be turned into an occupation that will pay enough to support the lifestyle you want.

If you choose to go to a university and get a degree, that'll take four years, then a couple of years to get established in your profession or line of work and by then, if you haven't screwed anything else up, your credit report will be clean again. Fresh start.

That year of working before you go back to post secondary will be the smartest thing you ever did. You'll go back to school way more mature than you are now and will therefore benefit more from the experience. And incidentally you'll fix a small problem that will become a huge problem if you just let the debts slide. They WILL collect and you are very easy to find and sue. You will be financial leper for the rest of your productive life unless you deal with this NOW.

That's the objective, practical advice that you didn't exactly ask for.

 To answer your questions, YES, OF COURSE YOU HAVE TO PAY IT BACK! You were not mature enough to handle credit and got in over your head. S hit happens. Deal with it. University for you is a luxury that will have to wait.

What will you gain by paying your debts? Where do I start answering that? You will grow up. You will have done something responsible. You will have demonstrated that you have a minimal, baseline foundation of integrity. You will have lived up to your word and your obligations, albeit a little late and a little halfheartedly. The fact that you will stay out of court and will have repaired the damage you have already done to your credit is part of the equation and frankly, a less important consideration than your personal ethics in my view.

You owe the money. Pay it. Get an education. Move on.

Good luck!

I went back to school at the age of 24, Justice. It's never too late...Go to work, make money, pay debts, SAVE. The fewer student loans you have, the better.

Poly

PS You don't pay your debts, you'll just contribute to the stereotype of the irresponsible youth who deserves to be treated like crap by the system. That isn't you, right?

another reason for paying of your debts - when you took out those credit cards, you signed a legally binding agreement to REPAY them if you used them.  you used them, so pay them.

some landlords run a credit check befor hey will rent you an apartment so you'd better be paying on those debts if you ever want to move.  then there's the creditor's ability to get a judgement and sue you, garnish your wages, etc...

so yes pay the stupid credit cards off, and i strongly recommend you cut them up and burn them.

I wondered, actually Islander...Three credit cards by the age of 19? Wow...

I usually give the benefit of the doubt until the followup posting though...

Poly

could be, islander

or it could actually be some irresponsible kid who needs advice.

either way, the members of this forum have always given excellent advice and offered support and ideas to those in need.  our morals are good, our ethical standards rigid, our character decent and our tolerance for irresponsibilty slim.  but we give advice, and people can take it or leave it.  i guess it depends if we are saying what they want to hear.

poly

witht he whole optional grade 13 thing, students are graduating from high school at 18.  the halls of the colleges and universities are lined with those parasites that offer credit cards with no credit checks for first year students, so its not that far fetched. 

totally irresponsible, but possible.

my bad mom.

pigeon

 dont sweat it

depends on the card and the rate of interest.  if you are serious about paying your debts off there are options.  try negotiating with your original lenders and see if you can make a smaller monthly payment.  maybe inquire about transferring your balances to one card (ie a visa or mc) and make one payment.  visa adn mc also ffr a substantilly lower rate of interest than a department store card.  if you have a good relationship with your bank they may be able to offer you some help despite your credit rating -  approach a bank with all your outstanding bills and see if they will give you a consolidation loan  - but you will likely need a cosignor. 

perhaps johnny can offer some advice on how to proceed here ?

All that's good advice, Mom, but the bills are in collections. R9s. No way he'll get consolodation loan for a lower rate.

He ought to bite the bullet and go cap in hand to Mom and Dad and ask them to borrow for him if they don't have the cash. Work 40 -48 hours instead of 15 per week and clear this 4K up. Then start socking money into terms, RRSPs or other saving vehicles and consider his future plans. After a year or so, the bills will be paid off and he might be in a position to go to school.

Then a few years of education, training, apprenticeship or whatever and then a few more years getting established in his working life. By then the Bureau will have sorted itself out and he can start fresh.

god i need some coffee or something.  you think i'd remember that justice is already dealing with collectors.  maybe i need a vacation from the foot of snow in my driveway.

i think you have the perfcet solution, islander.  debts repaid, plan for future, go to school in a few and by then the credit reports will be squeaky clean. 

well, justice, how does that sound ?  doable ??

Now, would someone talk to my kid?

You'd think that after what I've gone through, he wouldn't even consider university. After all, who's going to pay for it? But now he's dreaming of Montreal...taking MUSIC of all things...and wants to go next September.

I mean, it's better than dreaming of starting a metal band, taking lots of drugs and partying, but the end result could be the same: poverty, bad health and bitterness...

And if you give him the straight facts, his response is "You are trying to discourage me from my dreams!!!"

Doesn't help that he just turned 18, and lives with his grandparents in the most boring city in Canada (if you're not into the great outdoors) and wants to move so badly he can taste it...But there has to be a way to bring him back down to earth before he's a freaking member of this forum.

Thanks for letting me rant...sigh...

Poly
(who should be used to people ignoring her advice by now...)

Just make him read through all the posts on this site!  That'll do the trick!

But don't discourage him from going to university, or from studying music there.  Just make sure he has realistic ideas of the costs and the need to work his little heiny off to meet them.  Teach him that he'll need to work at least one job during school to keep his debt-load minimal (and make sure he knows he can't expect financial help from mom, though she supports him and loves him and will always be there for him, I know).  And don't discourage him from studying music simply because you worry there's no future in it.  I have a friend who has an MFA in Music, and she makes a very good living as a concert pianist.  Of course, she's able to do that because she's absurdly talented, but perhaps so is your son!

$0.02.

Colly

"I know! I know!! Ýou don't have to tell me!! You think I'm STUPID or something??? You have NO faith in me!!"

*groan*

I think the only thing to do is say, "Great! I have total faith that you'll succeed. Now, here's an itemized list of what everything will cost for four years. And this is what you will have to pay per month six months after you graduate if your paperwork isn't screwed up."

Said with enthusiasm and a smile.

We'll be talking tomorrow night on the phone...I'll let y'all know how it goes...

Hard enough being a parent without parenting from 6,000 km away...

Poly

Poly,

I laugh nervously reading your post because I all ready am nervous about my kids going to college/university...it's totally absurd on my part as they are only 3 and 6 years old.  Nervous because I don't want them to have to deal with the sh** that I have to deal with.

Hopefully, when things get straightened out I and hubby can start putting something away for them. 

Colly...I wasn't insulted at all, just so you know. And no matter HOW much you tell your kids what degrees are "practical" (this year, anyways), they will just look at you as if you have just undergone a frontal lobotomy and do what they want...

I started Uni at a time when an arts degree wasn't a dirty word...and graduated just at a time it became one. And my son? He is an arthead...sigh. His best marks were in languages, fine arts and music.

I wish his grandparents could have helped...my Dad lost his business in the recession of '91...he's turning 74 this month and drives a cab to pay the bills. My son lives with them right now, which is all they can help him with, really.

The "other" grandparents? Oh, they contributed about $250 this year...for the first time since he was born...Both are retired with money. Generous, eh?

Luckily, the ex's wages are finally being garnished for the $37,000 in back child support he owes from 1989...that will help, but...He wants an ARTS DEGREE!!!!!!!!!

Cross your fingers for me!!!

Poly

Colly,

No offense taken and no misinterpretation done. I do have to agree with you about the arts degree not being worthless...I have one in Sociology...has given me great insight into what I do on a daily basis at work.  Though, the college education was much more practical for me.  Both very useful!!

Hey, Hunter...maybe encourage them to work their buns off to get scholarships from their university...Not a guarantee they'll get one, but...

Alex always knew from the get-go about my SL problems. Kids are great...they never look down upon you -- they just want to protect mom against the bad guys. Don't worry about that...don't scare them, but use your story as a learning experience.

He IS scared of SL debt...but also 18. They think they are invinsible, you know..."It'll be different for me...I'll get the great job...yadda."

And you can't bring him out of the clouds without him kicking and screaming...

I am consoled by the fact that he is a big talker...but deep down not a big risk taker...

Poly

Not that he hasn't tried...He was in graphic design at Fanshawe this past autumn...and hated it.

Unfortunately, he is like his mum...His best marks were in courses that mean dick in the working world...English...French...Art...Music...Barely passed math  -- and science? Don't even go there...

Sigh...It's not like he hasn't thought of this option on his own, blah...coz if anything, my boy thinks too damned much...He just hasn't found a practical major that grabs him...

Fingers crossed...
Poly

poly...

my best marks were english french art music and math.  i sucked at science and computers.  my high school physics mark sucked the big one but i took upgrading and still managed to graduate with honours in civil engineering.  you just have to think differently.  if hes great at languages, how about a translator ? english teacher ?  reporter ?  does he like kids ?  how about opening an art school for kids since art and music programs are being destroyed in grade school ?  working at an art gallery ?  offer art classes to beginners ? just a few ideas...

You're preachin' to the choir, missy!!

Believe me, I've discussed all those options at some point in our research. (Anything to do with kids is definitely NOT an option; he didn't even like them when HE was one...That hasn't changed!)

He's at the age where he knows it all...Eventually, when he become as dumb as the rest of us (,) he'll listen to someone who's been there, done that and worn the t-shirt...

He just turned 18 last week...I was an idiot until I was 25...No need to panic yet!

Thanks, mom...

Poly

(and apologies to the really mature 18 year olds out there!)

i figured you'd have run down all the options with him, poly.  but hey, maybe he'll be the one who defies the odds and gets a terrific job in the arts.  i used to work at the shaw festival so i  was surrounded by artsy types all the time.  *sigh.  the good old days, before student loan debt when i had a job and disposable income...sigh again*. think happy thoughts, he's not in debt yet!