just plain tired

Biggest mistake I ever made was going back to school. When I was 14 I was having some personal problems and was removed from my home and school, so I recieved no high school education at all. When I hit 24 had a child and ended up being a single parent, I thought, self, you should go and get that education everyone is talking about. All I wanted was to get out of the minimum wage trap and try to make a better life for me and my children. So I went to westervelt for a hotel management course. I told them I had no high school education and they told me that was no problem. I got near the end of the course and I could not do the math. That was never my strong suit. Needless to say, I failed the course and was still stuck in the same dead end jobs I`m stuck in now ten years later. I have no idea how much I owe, but I do know its over 15,000. I was refused interest relief. I dont know why. At that time I earned about 900 a month after deductions. The payments they wanted from me were 350 a month. On top of that I had to pay 550 for rent. Sad times indeed. I had to start stealing food from the stores to feed my daughter, I had no property of any kind. No phone, no cable, no way to contact anyone. Having no phone at least allowed me some relief from the collecter calls. Things are a little bit better now. I work full time at a minimum wage job supporting my two children alone still. I`m fortunate to live in geared to income housing so my rent is never more than 250 a month. Pretty sad that some people earn what I do and have to pay 600 plus utilities on top of that. I always felt I did the best I could to raise my kids, I always have my bills paid on time, With the exception of that student loan. I dont see how I will ever be able to pay it. When my kids grow up and move out, I will have to leave my housing too. I will still be unable to pay my debt. I`m hoping that maybe one day, I`ll be able to claim bankrupt on that loan, as it is the only debt I owe other than my regular day to day necessities. My oldest daughter will be ready for college in 2 more years. I want to encourage her, but at the same time I keep telling her, whatever you do do NOT get a student loan. Unfortunatly, she probably will, and I only hope she doesnt have the troubles I do. I`m done crying about money and this debt. All that matters to me now is that I have a roof over my head and food on my fridge. I`ve already resigned myself to the fact that I will have to work till the day I die. I will never own a home, or have any kind of financial security. If I hadn`t gone to school my life could have been so much different. Oh well c`est la vie. The kicker too is that I went for upgrading to try yet again to pull myself out of this minimum wage life . It was a free program run by the government to get your highschool diploma. Unfortunatly I was not allowed to take the program because my elementary transcripts were lost. I cant even prove I have grade 8 education. I had people trying to help me and after numerous phone calls and advocates trying to locate them, they are no where to be found. SO now I have absolutly no education and  a huge debt. What fun. All I can say is I give up.