I am back [of course]

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   Well, I had a user name in here before under Finding Peace.  I actually have made some progress (but not really) with CSL.

I wrote my story in here back in April 2006, what a nightmare.  I did everything that was suggested and I actually had the lien on my Federal Taxes removed, which was a relief and the Federal portion of my loans is actually put aside [they are not requesting payments anymore, but the loans are still accumulating interest, of course ]

The provincials are a different story at first they accepted my income forms and accepted that I couldnt make any payments.  But now they are after me again [my income increased a bit, not much, but a bit better].  I got a call last week from a 'supervisor' stating that he was not accepting my application and I needed to pay $150.00 a month or my wages would be garnisheed by 30%???  He negelected to tell me when, so I called back a couple days later and it was due in 2 days!!!  Amazing hey, I think he was hoping I wouldnt pay so he could take legal action.

I actually felt violated, questioning and scrutinizing my expenses, my personal life, how I conducted myself and so on, questioning my every move.

OMG...I can see now that this student loan thing is a life sentence, just like I suspected.  At least I had some relief from it for 15 months.

I finished school in May 2001 because I went bankrupt that same month and was forced out of school, so never even got the education to earn the money to pay back the $30,000 I owe in total for 4 loans. 

 I earn under $25,000 a year.

I am not living on the hog, in the lap of luxury and purposely screwing over the government, though they like to accuse us of it.  

I figure at $150 a month with $100 going to interest for the 2 provincial loans I will be paying for almost 20 years.  LOL.  I am so beyond this, it is laughable.  

I give up!  I dont have the fight in me.  I feel like there is no end to it.  I am not even paying two of the loans, just ignoring them, but everything is hanging over my head, accumulating interest.  

I feel like a prisoner, under the watchful eye of big brother, not even wanting to work for fear they will come and take my basic living expenses.  I can honestly say that going to school was the worst mistake I ever made in my life and I feel like I will be paying for it for this lifetime.

This is a crime.  That is my opinion.

I have been reading on here again and from the things that Johnny says, I can read between the lines that my bankruptcy will not save me.  It will be seven years in May since I went bankrupt and last day of school, and I have been holding my breath waiting for those new laws, but I can see that is no real guarantee that these debts will be discharged and I would have to appeal AGAIN for hardship, which I cant really do now, because I have just enough money to take me out of poverty so they can gouge me for the rest of my life, therefore, they will actually be putting me in poverty by making me pay these big payments for the rest of my life.  I am already 43 and so tired I just want to lie down and quit.  

I can not stand the thought of being a prisoner, scrutinizing my every nickel and dime, my personal life, no freedom to just enjoy living.  I have raised 2 kids  and still raising two more and now this is what I have to show for all my hard work.  Working single mom now owing the government.

Is there anyway out of this nightmare----I just want to be free.